Table of Contents

June

Welp, school is out for winter break.1) A pretty long break, almost a month and a half. During this time I have a week-long training session that I’m dreading - except for the free food -, and a Trip to Namibia. I’m suuper excited about the latter, almost entirely because I FINALLY GET TO DRIVE again.2) But that will have to wait for the next post. For now, here’s some tidbits3) of daily life.

(How much I hate) Roosters

You know when you’re trying to sleep in, and something keeps making noise? And it’s not constant, but at unpredictable intervals? You know how rage-inducing that is? You just relax after the last noise, and you think it’s over, when it happens again. For me at least, it practically makes me froth at the mouth.4) In any case, roosters are the worst at this. They’ll start at three or four in the morning, and are so loud. And it’s such an unpleasant noise.

PDM (Project Development and Managment) Workshop

Was extremely boring. As usual. A whole week of day-long sessions. At least I read a lot of War and Peace. Really nothing happened; we just ate a ton of food, and took lots of baths, and suffered through the rest. Also included is a bit of exercise, with running in the mornings5), ‘tennis’6) after sessions, and gym in the evenings.

Dyeing My Beard

Or, “Boredom leads to dangerous things”

Bored after PDM I saw an internet post about blue beards, so I naturally decided I needed to follow suit.7) A few of us immediately walked to town from the hotel to find dye. We found some blonde dye, and got started. Apart from the fact that I had to breathe through a tube because the fumes were extremely painful to breathe, it went pretty well. Except that it’s not blonde, just slightly lighter. Ah well. I might try again on the morrow. Then I have to find that bright blue dye.

Washing Clothes In Near-Freezing Water

The temperature is not actually that cold, it’s about 55 and sunny most days, dropping to low 30s at night. Well-water is actually fairly warm, but my family has a water tank that traps rainwater. This water is shockingly cold, especially when your hands are immersed in it for an hour. Luckily, the pain subsides after a while, since your hands are totally numb. It’s really only the initial shock that’s unpleasant. On the plus side, I finally understand why washing machines have a warm water setting - cold water is really terrible at washing clothes. I must’ve scrubbed for 10 minutes at one stain, and it barely got lighter.

Lambs

Are somewhat adorable8), at least compared to the sheep they unfortunately mature into.9) But bleating is incredibly annoying. It’s loud, and constant. Especially when you’re trying to listen to music while washing clothes in hand-numbing water.

“So Wow”

I run to school now, about a mile and half, and it’s great. Commute time is much shorter, for one. The point is, apparently kids love exercise clothes. I came in with black trackpants and a blue jacket, and the class cheered and clapped. Absurd, yet endearing and pleasing to my inner narcissist. My favorite comment; “Sir Lee, you look so wow.” The perfect compliment. I vote we start using this in the states. “Melissa, you just look sooo wow in that dress! OMG!”10)

PCWE

The Writing Exchange has started up. In an attempt to write more, I’ve joined.This is my submission for the prompt : “The most satisfying thing you’ve ever done or tasted.”

(Can’t Get No) Satisfaction

The most satisfying thing I’ve ever done, huh? Sure I can tell you, kid, sure. Got a few minutes.

A long time ago I was a cop. What city? Don’t matter. Nothin’ fancy, just one of the guys on the streets. Doing my part you know? Keeping the scum in check. Not that I had any dreams about the system. I knew it was dirty. Sure there was graft, and the big guys got away, but the streets were safer because of me. Anyways, one day I was out patrolling, as usual. Me and my partner were called out to a wife-beater we’d be out to before, a rough drunk. Of course by the time we get there the lady swears there was no problem. The shiners on her face are already coming out, nice and purple. And I just see this guy, standing there with a stupid grin on his face like he’s real smart or somethin’. I just snap, you know? I can’t take it. There’s this poor girl, and this real asshole just whales on her whenever he needs to feel like a man. I walk up to him real slow, real close, and just let loose a sucker punch right to the gut. I knee him in the face as he goes down, and kick him a few times for good measure. Nobody moves. I lean in real close and spit in his face. I whisper “You asshole. I get called out here again, you’re going to get more than a few bruises.” The lady and Bill are stone-still. I walk out the door, and don’t say nothin’. I figure, fuck it. Bill can report me if he wants. But I never heard nothin’ about it. I never felt so good, so right as I did fucking that fucker up. I wish I’d hurt him more.

That was fuckin statisfaction, right there, you know? Giving that bastard what he deserved. But, you know, when my buddy pulled me away, I looked at the lady, I guess looking for a smile, or a…a nod or something, you know? Just to say thanks. But she just ran to her man, and looked at me so fulla hate, you know? That put me down a peg or two. I just kinda drained. I’ll tell ya, I felt like crying. Not that I would, you know? Who knows kid. It’s a fucked up world.

When I was most satisfied? Yeah man, no problem. Easy question. I play soccer for the Ninjas, you know us? No? Damn, I thought we were better known, with what MLS getting bigger and all. Anyways, we’re the city’s team. Your city man, you should know your teams, at least. Not really a sporty guy I can tell. Uhh… where was I? Oh, right, satisfaction, thanks. Yeah, anyways we were playing those assholes, the Pirates. Pirates vs Ninjas, get it? Um, anyways, we had the game tied going into the second half, everybody tired as hell. It was one of those super hot and humid nights, we were sweating like pigs. Not enough water in the world, it seemed like. We were slowing down. It was just too damn hot man, seriously. Well, I was up, pushin’ their defense, hopin’ for a lucky pass, but really just trying to catch my breath. It was like breathing underwater, I swear. Anyways, I see the ball comin’ at me, and I’m like, shit, this is my chance. I take the ball and run like fucking hell, and I dodge the first guy, fakin’ left, goin’ right, and then it’s just me and the goalie. I shoot, and it goes right in the corner. Freaking beautiful man. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy. Great game. Too bad you can’t always have moments like that, huh?

Satisfaction? What the hell does that mean? I mean, look, sure, every now and then you do something you’re proud of, maybe you even worked hard and it came out in the end. Lucky you. For every guy that really achieves that, there’s a thousand that don’t. And even the guy that does, he puts in the hours, and gets his promotion, what then? He’s not satisfied forever. Maybe a week. And then your hormones go back to their normal balance, your endorphin recede, and that’s that. It’s a fleeting thing, and foolish to chase, is satisfaction. It’s like happiness, just the same fucking white rabbit. The closer you seem, the more you realize you can’t get catch it. Have you ever had a moment that you expected to be the best moment ever? That’s when you really know you can’t be satisfied. Because at that one, glorious, fleeting moment, you think to yourself “It’s not as good as I thought it’d be.” It’s better when it catches you off guard, and you fly up in a moment of ecstasy. But then you come right back down. Still, a moment is better than nothing, I suppose? What the hell am I talking to you for? You want to know satisfaction? Ask a heroin addict. Or give a thirsty man a glass of water. Bye.

1)
I can’t decide if the semester dragged on forever, or it went by incredibly quickly.
2)
On the other side of the road. We’ll see how that turns out.
3)
Veeery tiny tidbits.
4)
I’m working on it.
5)
Rather, some mornings. I’m not a morning exerciser, generally. Bed is too pleasant.
6)
More of an attempt, given that the court was covered in dirt, the surfaces destroyed, and the net hangs to about a foot off the ground. And we’re all terrible at tennis, after not having played in nearly a year.
7)
I’m not at all easily influenced by trends. Rock-solid, that’s me.
8)
As small and fuzzy creatures generally are.
9)
Which are the dumbest, least interesting animals I have ever seen. They’re really great one thing : standing absolutely still in the rain.
10)
My impression of tennage girls.