Toilet Roll Disaster - A True Story

You may think the title is an exaggeration, but I assure it is nothing less that the truth, albeit perhaps a little subjectively.

I was at my friends house is the mountains of western North Carolina, visiting a weekend before our universities started. One evening, I go the bathroom in the apartment (the only bathroom). I noticed that I have used all the roll on the holder, and so being the naturally good-hearted and generous guest that I am I found a new roll to replace it with. In order to understand the story, you must understand that this toilet paper roll holder was in two parts, one mounted on the wall, and a cylinder which was spring loaded in order to fit in the notches in the holder in the wall. Normally, this cylinder is two parts, held together by the same spring that pushes them a set distance apart. Go find one, you'll see what I mean. Anyways. I flushed the toilet, and immediately started replacing the roll. I took off the cylinder by squeezing the two halves together, took off the cardboard tube from the old roll, and put on the new roll. In the process my hand holding the spring-loaded cylinder together slipped, sending one half of the cylinder flying through the air. I see it in slow motion, flipping end-over-end, to land in the bowl, which is in the middle of flushing. My hand mechanically shot after it (mercifully by this time all the foulness had left the bowl), and grasped around the bowl for it. I felt it brush against my fingers for an instant, but as my hand closed on it, it slipped through and was gone.

Such anguish and frustration I have rarely felt. Plus, then I had to go and buy a toilet snake to unclog it.¹⁾